Last night, I got a call from Jamar. Here is an impromptu transcript of said conversation.
Me: "Sexy Brandon enterprises, how might I please you?"
Jamar: "Say what?"
Me: "Hi, you’ve reached Brandon, what do you need?"
Jamar: "Who is this?"
Me: "This is Brandon."
Jamar: "Brandon, this is Jamar, you have my phone motherfucker."
Me: "I’m sorry good sir, but I believe you have the wrong number."
Jamar: "You listen here you little bitch, this is my phone and you’re going to give it back right the fuck now."
Me: "I’m sorry, but you’ve dialed [my number] and I seriously doubt I’m the perpetrator of whom you speak."
Jamar: "Oh shit dude. My bad, I didn’t mean nothing."
Me: (In my best Black voice) "Ain’t no shit yo’, you go get that motha fuckin’ asshole and give him a piece for me brotha."
Jamar: "Holla back nigga!"
I love my life.